I ran into this wall and it hurt everyone inside me and no one outside me. Nick and Nicholas and NICK FUCKING MORROW and “oh my god I miss you” Nick all stand in this funny little circle with whatever weapon they could grab on their way out the door and they’ve got this awful “Oli Sykes” kinda look at each other.
You start to feel like you’re in high school track and field and the usual javelin/shotput thrower gets tossed into 100 high hurdles. and now you’re transported from “the boy who throws heavy shit” to “the skilled avoider.”
I get this flight of ideas and need to get them all out fast. And it looks like a plane wreck impersonating a train wreck.
and it feels like giving blood
but the part where you feel good about yourself for your deed never comes.
and it feels like the sun has set on the day we waited for, waited for months and months and months.
other news…
i’m so in love right now
it’s the kind of thing you walk from a dark and dingy house into a bubbling with activity village street and the world around you is begging to be musical and begging to not die long enough to be blessed with the perfect moments you create
the river’s still everywhere
but it’s nice to find a life raft exists here and there
